Nature and Magical Reality
The purpose of the dieta is to lose the smell of the human body. It is said that spirits, plants and animals are very sensitive to smells and one has to acquire the smell of the forest in order to come closer to the other-than-human world. Usually, a dieta in the Upper Amazon jungle means no salt, no sugar, no sex, living in isolation and eating once a day plantain grilled in its own skin and pescaditos (green bananas and fish). My diet was not as strict. I had a simple, vegetarian meal twice a day. In addition, I had no expectations about the connection to the other-than-human world. I was more curious about the effects of isolation in the jungle on my inner life. However, the spiritual sphere of the jungle revealed itself by real-life events, interpretations and stories. I was automatically immersed in another world.
I became more and more sensitive to the world around me. Whenever I was sitting in the hut, for example, I felt the fine vibrations of the jungle floor. I was told that the floor of the jungle reacts to the crashing of a tree like a pudding – the vibrations travel very far. The hut standing on stilts is a perfect transmitter of this fine movement.
One night, however, after I crawled into my bed, closed my mosquito net and started to read, the mattress suddenly began to tremble. It felt as if the opossums were nibbling inside of it. I jumped out, knelt on the floor and shined my flashlight under the bed – nothing there except wooden boards holding the mattress. Could it really have been Chullachaqui wanting to trick me and trying to get attention? Dr. Himmelbauer had suggested this possibility. I pushed this thought away, it was too weird.
Other times, when it was already dark and the sound of rain swallowed up any other jungle noise, I heard human voices coming from the jungle. It was like a murmuring, a very gentle conversation between a man and a woman. I knew that no human being would be in the jungle at this time. Was it the sound of rain tricking me or did I hear trees talking to each other? I explained it away as the sound of rain. The same happened when I heard steps in the darkness in front of my cabin. Two times I took the flashlight and searched outside for the cause of this sound. Nothing was there. Who is playing piano on the screen of my consciousness? My brain? The rain? An unknown spirit?
Every morning, I stepped outside the cabin to greet the elegant and slender Humari tree in front of my hut. Underneath it, there lived a gorgeous spider, crawling over the grass and hanging on the thin spider threat like the most gifted acrobat.
Humari tree on the right
During this time, a hummingbird often came by, flying right and left in front of my face and peeped as if it would like to say “good morning, good morning!” On the 21st day, the last day of my diet , I was sitting in meditation in my hut when the hummingbird suddenly flew to my left ear, stopped for a short moment and disappeared again through the open entrance door. I was stunned! When I stepped out afterwards, it came to greet me again for the last time. Was this really just coincidence?
Barefoot and still in my pyjamas, my day started with a short walk to the pond of Otorongo.
Path to the pond
Gateway to the diet hut and spring. Every day, the camp ground is raked in order to prevent snakes and other poisonous animals from hiding unter dead leaves.
Trees with weaver bird nests
Every morning, when I arrived at the pond, a heated discussion was taking place on the top of nearby trees whose leaves carried the home of the very social Baucar weavers. They were frantically flying from treetop to treetop, screeching and screaming, sometimes in a crescendo as if they all agreed on one topic with only one voice expressing a different opinion. It was courting season when I was there. They showed off their artistic nests hanging from the tree branches like woven tubes. The nests on one specific palm tree were especially intriguing. It was a tree putting its entire energy into growing to the light, with only three palm leaves on the top. The two longer ones were totally covered by nests. I called it the “Bodhisattva tree”.
“Bodhisattva tree”.
Before washing and swimming, I watched the life around me on the reflection of the calm and black surface of the water. The locals would not swim or even wash in this water – they were afraid of creatures living in its unknown darkness. For locals, reality is magical and full of supernatural beings. For example, there exist many stories about seductive spirits living in the Amazon River. It is said that these other-than-human-beings (water people, mermaids and dolphins) live in great underwater cities and can take on human forms. Great Shamans can visit these cities and learn their songs (icaros) and secrets from them. The Shaman Don Augustin Rivas Vasque (teacher of Dr. Himmelbauer) told Dr. Himmelbauer that he had learned his icaros from these underground beings. The driver of Dr. Himmelbauer saw, during my stay, a cyclop (a hairy creature with only one eye) staring at him one day when he was walking over a bridge. He was utterly shook up. For him, this being was totally real.
I myself loved to look out for turtles rising up in the pond from the depth with their golden coloured shells due to the minerals in the water. They were beautiful in their slow movement. At least 30 turtles live in the little pond. They rested on the wooden deck later in the day when it warmed up.
You see the largest and oldest turtle in the photo above. Many of the turtles were rescued by Dr. Himmelbauer, who bought them at the fish market before they were killed for food.
Most of the time around noon I was sitting on the wooden stairs just doing nothing and taking in the atmosphere of the jungle. A butterfly discovered my presence and often landed on my leg or arm and scanned my skin with its tiny antenna.
I was told that the end of November was the time of butterflies emerging. Indeed, I saw more and more colourful butterflies. The most beautiful and magical, however, was an iridescent metallic blue butterfly circling the clearing nearly every day. This rare butterfly is called morpho menelaus and is one of the largest butterflies in the world (up to a 12 cm wingspan). I was in awe about this graceful, very mysterious being! When I was walking in the jungle one time, it touched my right arm when it was flying by. Another time, it flew onto my chest. When I told Dr. Himmelbauer about these encounters, he said “the animals want to get to know you! They know how to fly – this was not a coincidence!”
Morpho menelaus butterfly (image from the internet). Dr. Himmelbauer advised me not to take photos of butterflies. He considers them magical beings. I did not make a photo of the Morpho menelaus, but could not resist taking photos of others.
Another time, I watched a butterfly coming into the hut and not finding the way out. It did not realise that it had to fly down first and always tried to escape through the ceiling net. For three days, I watched and tried to help with no avail. Then I had an idea! I took my orange night pot, climbed over the table and bed to rest my one foot on the horizontal wooden wall beam, caught the butterfly in the pot, and with a swift movement took it down to find its freedom. I was very happy. “The Shipibo Indians would have laughed at you” Dr. Himmelbauer said to me when I told him about it. “This was the fate of the butterfly! It was choosing to be over your bed and probably die there – or not! Only a gringo would do that!” I still was glad that I could help it to survive.
Butterfly in its search for freedom
I surprised myself that I was not afraid to be alone in the hut with all these unusual surroundings. The weather was very unstable with lots of thunderstorms and heavy rains. Sometimes, sheet lightening illuminated the clearing during the night with a constant, nervous, flickering light. One time, an earthquake was shaking the entire cabin. Shortly before, a group of parrots felt it coming and made the most deafening noise. Despite all this, I felt embraced by the jungle. I felt that I was part of this jungle world.
In Otorongo, one should always expect the unexpected. I thought I would end my diet with a ceremony like in the beginning of my diet, but I was wrong! The “ceremony” consisted of a plate of raw onion rings mixed with raw garlic cloves in a spicy sauce. Judith served it at 7 am on a little plate with the word “comer!” “No comer” I answered, as I did not want to eat yet. She strongly insisted and only then I saw what was on the plate! The ending of my diet was a shock to my body as I hardly could swallow even two of the garlic gloves and tears ran down to my cheeks when I swallowed it. However, it catapulted me immediately back into the social environment and everyday life of Otorongo.
This life consisted also of Ayahuasca ceremonies. In one of the ceremonies, I had a vision of my ego disappearing into nonexistence, only pure awareness was left. After that, a powerful flaming cosmic fire dragon covered the entire sky, his head moving restlessly from side to side. I was in awe and terrified at the same time.
Otorongo is a place of “thin air”, a portal between the seen and unseen world. On the last day of my visit, I walked to the Chullachaqui-caspi tree, the home of the Lord of the Forest. I wanted to give thanks to the jungle for my health, safety and the deep connection I felt. No other place seemed to be more fitting than this special tree. I had seen this tree many times and also did several drawings of it. However, when I stepped in front this time, suddenly I saw a face looking at me from inside the legged tree. It seemed that the Lord of the Forest materialised in order to tell me “I really do exist!”
Roots of a different Chullachaqui-caspi tree
Drawing of the Chullachaqui, the Lord of the Forest
People often asked me after my return from the jungle – “what did you get out of it?” This question is not so easy to answer. After my Shikoku pilgrimage, I was asked the same question. There is usually not an immediate answer. Everything is a process and reveals itself later. However, I realised some benefits of three weeks in the diet even during the diet. For example, my messy handwriting became even, small and precise when I wrote in my diary. In addition, nothing could disturb my equanimity after a while. I especially loved the simplicity of life and the joy and gratefulness for the essential things. I do not know yet what the long-term effects will be, if any. Time will reveal it.
Last day of my five weeks in the Peruvian jungle with Judith, Rosalia and Dr. Himmelbauer
At the end of my diet, Dr. Himmelbauer told me that during the last 20 years, twenty-five people had stayed in the diet hut. Five of them were women. Most of the women left early. I stayed the longest of the twenty-five people. It showed me that I have become fairly resilient, probably due to the pilgrimages I have done in the past.
Deep thanks to you, dear reader, that you walked with me into the jungle and stayed with me all the time.
